is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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