Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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