2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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