dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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