You're completely useless in the revolution.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The power of my boobs compel you
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
