Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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