You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
