She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
