And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
third nipple confirmed
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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