If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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