True but thats because hes a fetus.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
