he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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