to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i think i have two assholes
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
