you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
