So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
