Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
