so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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