O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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