He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
