Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
