I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
