Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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