Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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