It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
