Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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