i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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