Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
