kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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