I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
