Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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