hell yes lets make some ravioli
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
