I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
