so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
