Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
