So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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