who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Verdict: uncircumcised.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
