Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There r osticjed everywhere
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
