I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
