her vagine was all disorganized.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
