I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
