Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
