i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
