last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
