Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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