he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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