Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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