who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
