The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
