Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
