Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
