god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
